Earlier in the week it followed a their second CAMHS appointment, which they attended without LML.

“I don’t feel like we got very far” says CD, “we didn’t get any further than the last session.”

“No” agrees GM, “we can only hope they actually read LML’s CPR before the next appointment. They have had it fir over a month.”

“I can’t believe that they asked us what we should do in the next session – who are the flippin therapists for goodness sake, us or them!!??”

They are pretty much in agreement that they ‘got it wrong’ – the week has been too unstructured and unplanned, too spontaneous, too wet and cold and just too too much for them all.

So, the next holidays the parents will remember a few rules

• it’s ok to divide and rule
• the weekly planner that is created for Little Miss Loud during term time will continue during the vacations – for every week
• activities will be planned in advance – even vague ones like ‘an outing’
• distance makes the heart grow fonder … time off nursery and play scheme do not need to coincide – indeed, it should be very well planned and executed if it happens at all when not actually ‘on a holiday’
• going to bed earlier and drinking a bit less might not be what the beleaguered parents want to do, but it’s probably for the best.

So, the Mostly Functional Parents need to put away spontaneity and impulse for now and really really knuckle down to predictability, planning and routine.

Sigh

“What shall be sing next Lolly?” asks Crap Dad.

“Coco baa, baa” quickly responds

“What?”

“Coco baa, baa.”

Crap Dad sings the words in his head but still can’t get it.

“Sorry, I don’t think I know that one. You sing it for me.”

“Coco baa, baa,

Coco baa, baa” Lolly sings repeatedly.

“Aaaah, London’s Burning!” exclaims Crap Dad .

“I” she points to her chest,

“Love” she spreads her hands over her chest,

“You” she points to GM and ends with a dazzling smile.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yyyyyyyyy nnnnnnnnnn yyyyyyy nnnnnnn mmmmmmm yyyyyyyyyy”

GM sighs and raises questioning eyebrows.

Lolly continues her prevarication, smiles ‘the smile’ and eventually says “mmmm nnnnnnnn yyyyes.”

GM gets up from the table and takes a step.

“No” says Lolly with ‘the smile’.

GM just can’t seem to help her self .. “you don’t want a spoon?”

“Mmmmm nnnnnn yyyy …” the process starts again.

“Lolly, Do you want a spoon?”

“No”

“OK.” says GM and sits back down.

“Yes!” says Lolly.

“Too late” says GM, mostly keeping the snarl out of her voice.

“Whaaaaaa! Whhhhhaaaaaa! WHAAAAAAAA!” cries Lolly.

CD “No LML”

LML “Lolly orange”

GM “What does ‘no’ mean LML?”

Lolly “NO!”

GM “Does it mean ‘do it’ or ‘don’t do it’?”

Lolly “DO IT! DO IT!”

they were eating ice cream .. or ‘cone’ as Little Miss would say excitedly!

“Bloody LML and her apple obbession. Just emptied the washing and found an apple wrapped up in a sheet. Grrr! 60 degrees does nothing for an apples complexion. Hmmmmm! Apple scented laundry.”

The new doctor seems friendly enough, she soon starts to examine Lolly. She questions the Mostly Functional parents about Lolly’s health and behaviour. “I think she needs additional support. I’ll contact the nursery SENCO to make a referral for early years funding.”

The kids are bouncing around the consultation room, in to everything. GM and CD spend a lot of time stopping them from playing with the medical equipment that is all over the room, the sink, the giant paper rolls, the surgical gloves, the curtain. They tag team it, without any need for discussion or agreement.

It’s soon LML’s turn. After a number of routine questions the paediatrician focusses in on LML’s behaviour. “Is she always like this?” she enquires as LML flits from one prohibited activity to another.

“I would like to refer her to the Child & Adolecent Mental Health Service (CAMHS), it’s difficult because many of the behaviours for Attachment Disorder are also seen in ADHD. I think we should assess her for ADHD, medication may help slow her down and focus more, making it easier for her to access education.”

Grumpy Mum is quick to say, “When we adopted LML we knew her behaviour might be challenging, we accepted that that’s who she is. I’m not sure either of us would want to manage her behaviour with drugs.”

The parents accept that this is a route in to CAHMS though; something they have been talking about how to achieve for some time. The Mostly Functional parents agree to complete a Connor’s Parent Rating Scale. Not convinced that the paediatrician, after less than an hours consultation, has made a correct ‘diagnosis’, they still see the benefits of the route she is proposing as it’s likely to open up new opportunities for support for the family and LML.