needs analysis

9 05 2009

When I asked Big Sis earlier today what she thought her needs were when Little Miss Loud (LML) came home to us, she said she didn’t have any!!

She did of course and it took a little exploring before we got around to them.

She needed everything explaining to her. She needed to know where we were in the process. She needed to have an opportunity to discuss some of the more complex issues that LML came with. This would often mean Big Sis discussing issues with us then coming back a couple of days later and wanting to discuss it more.

Though she was a bit blasé about it, she was going to lose her no1 daughter status and needed to know that we were still going to be there for her. She needed some reassurance. In fact, one of the things that came out of our discussion was that she wants to go out for a meal with us – just us, without LML. As a family we have always put an emphasis on eating together and we would often take Big Sis out for a meal in a restaurant as a celebration of one thing or another. We have continued to do that with LML included – but to be honest, she just isn’t quite ‘civilised’ enough for it to be relaxed yet.

One of the things Big Sis identified was that she needed to think about her relationship with LML. Big Sis has a little sister that lives with her mother. Big Sis needed to establish a new relationship with LML and to understand that it would be different to that of her birth sister. That, like us, she had to learn who LML is.




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