Death by Meeting – Introductions planning and other exiting events

10 06 2009

If there was anything which could have dampened our excitement at the impending arrival of Little Sis it was the ‘Introductions Planning’ Meeting. Attending with us was our social worker, Little Sis’s SW, the foster carer and the chair of the meeting, a woman from the after adoption support team.

The meeting took two and a half hours! The first hour of which was spent completing a form that should have been completed beforehand, as nearly all the information was in previous forms.

We then planned when and how we were going to move Little Sis to her new home. The chair, who had spoken to the foster carer the day before for the first time, was at pains to ensure that we are introduced to Little Sis slowly. So for the first week we are only seeing her an hour a day every other day.

Then we move on to half days first at the foster carers, learning her routine and gradually taking over from the foster carer. After 4 days Little Sis will then come home for a visit of about an hour. From then on the focus will be Little Sis coming home in increasing amounts until she the big move.

As we were winding up the meeting the Chair was expressing concerns that Little Sis had only spent one full day at her new home before the move. She’d planned the process so that it ended on a Friday, because the social workers involved don’t work over the weekend, and was then saying maybe we could extend the process over the weekend. Both CD, GM and their SW were quick to scotch that proposal. It was agreed things would be considered at he review meeting – which is held only two days before the move takes place

The chair was also concerned that the mostly functional parents would have very few breaks in the process. CD and GM assured her that with so many hours to spare on so many days they were OK and didn’t need to take a day off.

CD tried to create some space towards the end of the introductions for the foster carers to ‘say their goodbyes’. Foster mum, at the thought of saying ‘goodbye’ burst into floods of tears. Which seemed to prove his point, but was not built into the plan because she said she’s be OK. That would also put us into the weekend and, of course, without SW support.

There was then a lengthy discussion on whether Little Sis should be picked up from the foster carers and taken home or whether the foster carers should drop her off on moving day. It seems the two local authorities have different rationales for their ways of managing moving day. Foster mum made the decision for us when she said that she felt she couldn’t drive after dropping off Little Sis, so she wanted the mostly functional parents to pick Little Sis up.

So there we have it. We meet Little Sis for the first time today (Wednesday 10th) and she comes home on or about the 26th June.

How exciting!!!

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2 responses

10 06 2009
Thorn

Congratulations! It must be great to have a date. It’s wild that you go this far through the process without meeting Little Sis, especially since she’s your daughter’s bio sibling. I’m glad you’ll be seeing her soon (now?) at last!

11 06 2009
underbrella

It is a bit mad that you have to agree to adopt the child and for it to be approved before you get to meet them. When we adopted LML we didn’t even see a picture of her until after we had read her profile and we’d agreed to proceed further. With Little Sis we could have had a picture of her a long time ago but decided that we wanted to make an objective decision so held off until we were sure that we were going ahead (knowing that once we saw her rationality may have gone out of the window – they look so alike) . cd

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