19 06 2009

Introductions have their own momentum .. foster carers, adopters and social workers may be able to steer the introductions some what .. but ..

Oh dear. This morning there seemed to be a lot of ‘head banging’, hitting out, stropping, terrible twonesss, from the 3-year-old LML. Taking into account her general sunny disposition, she wasn’t in a particularly happy place.

Anyway .. Aunty five arrives to look after LML whilst the mostly functional parents scoot off to spend the afternoon with Little Sis. CD and GM take Little Sis to the local play park, they finally get some good pictures to email to their family and friends, have a lovely half hour playing on the swing and in the grass, have a look at the local shops and make their way back to Pat and Fred’s, for another half an hour of play (or ‘interaction’ if you want to get professional about it!).

As GM begins to give Little Sis her tea (sweet potato mash, banana & raspberries), CD leaves to get home to LML. Tea goes well, although the sweet potato ends up being mixed with her pudding because she has such a sweet tooth. After her tea, Little Sis plays a bit, but is obviously tired, and eventually GM scoops her up and cuddles her whilst she chats with Pat. Little Sis fiddles with GM’s face, they face pull to each other and have lots of eye contact and smiles, as GM chats, but gradually Little Sis falls asleep. It feels wonderful to GM, the beautiful open face, the ‘dead weight’ in her arms, the trust and confidence that Little Sis demonstrates, simply by falling asleep in her arms. WOW.

However .. GM knows, without having to ask, that this really is too close to bedtime, for Little Sis to be sleeping for any significant time. GM and Pat continue to chat, and as they do, GM is served with some tarte-tatin. She gently wakes Little Sis, who then eats most of the apple from the tarte!

Meanwhile CD arrives home to find LML and Aunty Five racing up and down the hallway on hobby-horses. Once the horses have been ‘stabled’ Aunty Five says, “Right, I’m off. She’s run me ragged.”

As Aunty Five is getting her stuff together LML walks up the stairs. WALKS up the stairs!! For weeks, no months, the mostly functional parents have been trying to encourage her to do this, but she’s resolutely refused. Not only does she do it once but in the period up to bath time she does it three times. So pleased with her action she stands at the bottom of the stairs and shouts “ook” to CD before she makes her final accent.

Back at the Pat and Freds, GM tries to entertain the increasingly tired and grumpy Little Sis. The infant has recently formed a strong attachment to a particular blanket, and this helps no end in calming, comforting and entertaining her – GM is aware that this blanket will probably be a very significant and helpful item over the next few months!

Eventually it is bath time. Pat pretty much leaves GM to it, from undressing Little Sis to washing her hair, to drying and dressing the child for bed. All goes well, barring a little tired whining as Little Sis is dressed, and she snuggles into GM’s arms again, as she is carried down stairs. Little Sis resolutely refuses to have her bottle of milk, from GM or Pat, and she shows GM just how loudly she can squawk in anger and frustration. She soon calms down and has another snuggle with her mummy and then it is off to bed.

Little Sis allows GM to put her in her cot and gazes up at her with a slightly puzzled, but accepting look on her face. GM has seen a similar look on LML face – saw it for months after she came home – this ever diminishing look of confusion. “We’re going to be fine sweetheart” she tells her daughter as she closed the door.

A bath for LML, some crackers for supper, Robots on DVD and it’s nearly bedtime. “Why don’t you get a book to read before you go to bed” suggests CD

LML gets her ‘photobook’ detailing her move home. They look at it and CD talks about meeting LML for the first time, moving to her new home and the people involved. After they had finished LML gets the family photo album out. They spend 10 minutes looking through the photos as CD explains who’s who and outlines the mostly functional parents respective families and some of the key events captured right up to LML’s move home, the day we first met all her siblings, her adoption day and the first pictures of Little Sis.

Later, as CD puts LML to bed she says, “nigh daddy. Nigh”.




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