Good friday, uneasy Saturday and exhausted Sunday

5 04 2010

Worn out, that’s how Crap Dad feels. A virus which has the symptoms of a sore throat, headache, congestion and tiredness hasn’t helped. But it’s the constant, incessant, relentless, interminable, unceasing and unremitting struggle with LML that has him feeling down. There are moments every day where her beauty, humour and exuberance shine brightly but these are generally interspersed with hours of challenging behaviour. This can range from the now mundane physical attacks on Lolly, the ever shifting attention which makes it impossible to complete a task, the lightening quick. octopus like, grabbing of objects, which make her being in the kitchen both stressful and scary and then there is the need for constant supervision without which she soon descends into behaviour or activities which end in destruction or a mess. All of which means that doing anything else other than focussing on LML whilst she is awake is almost impossible. It’s wearing and hard work, especially when you’ve been hit in the face for the umpteenth time that day!

Of course, all of this is done with the most endearing and beautiful smile. She is both delightful and disagreeable, kind and constantly infuriating, charming and challenging. She is our daughter.

When the problem parents sat down with their social worker and discussed the potential match, when they initially met the paediatrician to discuss the issues LML may face in the future, when they talked to the foster carers about LML nothing could have prepared them for where they are now. That’s not a bad thing, that’s just they way it is. Lately, a constant phrase that has been running through Crap Dad’s head is, “it ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you at”. When the problem parents made the decision to adopt they new that any child placed with them would, in all likeliness, have significant issues that they would have to work through. Developmental delay, learning difficulties, attachment disorder and behavioural issues are now what we are working with.

LML is going to need all our love and energy to achieve her full potential, she is our daughter and Crap Dad loves her with all his heart. He knows that tomorrow is another day and that he’ll feel different than he does now. He knows he needs to look after himself, so that he has the energy and enthusiasm to parent in the manner he wants to. He knows that he loves LML and that she is our daughter.

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