Naked

28 07 2010

LML takes her pajamas top off and is laughing.

“It’s early and still a bit cold darling, you should keep that on,” states Crap Dad.

LML ignores him and runs around laughing. Soon she’s slipping off her pajamas bottoms.

“Don’t be daft, put ’em back on” encourages CD.

The response is a laugh and a defiant, “No!”

She spends the rest of the morning, until she gets dressed for nursery, in various states of nakedness.

Later that day Crap Dad arrives home just after the kids have been bathed. LML is running around without a top on laughing.

“I see nothing much has changed then,” he says as he puts his bag and jacket down.





Not Fooled

19 07 2010

LML is in the bedroom as Crap Dad gets dressed. CD looks in the top draw of the chest of draws for boxer shorts and socks. “Meow… there meow. ME…OW!” exclaims LML.

CD says, “Meow’s downstairs”, having forgotten that LML’s beloved beanie baby cat had been hidden in the drawer after it had been left at the train station, surreptitiously replaced by meow#2 and then returned by an angel disguised as aunty J.

“Meow in there!” insists LML.

“Are you sure?”

“Meow there!”

“Lets have a look. You show me”

CD opens the draw and LML moves a pairs of sock out of the way. She reaches in to the back of the draw. “Meow back!” she exclaims excitedly. “”Meow back” she says holding the toy above her head and doing a little dance. “Meow back” she repeats jubilantly.

She spends then next few minutes giving her loved toy a hugs and kisses. “Meow back” she repeats over and over.

A few minutes later downstairs.

LML goes into the dinning room and calls, “Mummy look, Mummy look.” Grumpy Mum walks into the room to find LML pointing to the spot where she had previously left the meow#2, which GM had speedily hidden in the washing. “Where Meow?” she enquires, “Where meow?”

Just as she’s saying this CD arrives, GM and CD look at each other. “She’s not fooled at all is she?” says GM through a laugh.





Yummy or Yucky?

13 07 2010

“crunch. crunch. crunch.”

GM looks around, wondering what the sound is. Lolly is standing near the cat bowl.

“oh Lolly!” she exclaims “You haven’t?”

Lolly opens her mouth as requested and she has!





Absent Parent

10 07 2010

The screaming is intense, much more intense than usual. Crap Dad rinses the flannel he’d gone to get and returns to the dinning room. Lolly is very distressed, her face is various shades of purple, he mouth wide open and the tears are starting to form and roll down her cheeks. She continues to scream.

Crap Dad tries to comfort her. He asks LML what has happened, she looks at him blankly. He scans Lolly but can’t see anything. He continues to try and sooth her but the screaming just gets louder. “Has LML hit you? Show me where it hurts, baby.” More screaming, her face changing colours like an over excited chameleon.

He checks again, asking, “Does it hurt here?” Then he sees the marks start to appear. Millimetres to the the side of her right eye four very small welts start to appear. Evenly spaced they can only mean one thing, he scours the table and floor, “Where is that fork?”








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