Dot to dot

29 11 2010

“Oh my!” exclaims Crap Dad as Grumpy Mum pulls the jumper over Little Miss Loud’s head.

The four year old’s back is facing him.  GM looks over her daughters shoulder.  “OH!” She exclaims “Sweetheart! You won’t be going back to school this week.  You’re going to have to stay off”

“Poorly?” asks the child, “me poorly?”

GM is doing a quick count as CD answers “a little bit darling, you have Chicken Pox”.

“That’s over 20 just on her back” exclaims GM, “just since she went to school this morning!”


Good things come to those who wait

13 11 2010

Crap Dad had waited for this moment for over three years. He didn’t want to move. He wanted to extend the moment for as long as he could.

He’d read the books and endlessly discussed attachment disorder with everyone from social workers, clinical psychologists, teachers, other adopters to family members. He’d discussed what this meant on a day to day basis, how LML was always alert, rarely relaxed and a little… distant, unwilling to share moments of intimacy . But at this moment all of the hard work, the strategies and tools, the patience and practice had started to pay off.

“Three years”, he thinks, “Three years, I’ve waited for this.”

When he’d put the Iron Giant on the DVD player, he’d done so at Lolly’s request. It was 7.00am, they’d already been up an hour and a half and he’d had enough of kids TV.

Lolly had almost immediately come to sit next to him on the sofa. Shortly afterwards LML joined them. She curled up on the settee, laying across Crap Dad with her head resting on his lap, totally relaxed, watching the film.

Three years he had waited for this moment and he relished every second of it.

He gently patted her back and stroked her head, internally celebrating these simple actions.

“Three years…”

Letter Box Contact

11 11 2010

Bring, bring…. bring bring

“Hello, letter box service”

“Hi, it’s Crap Dad, LML and Lolly’s dad. We’ve just received our letter box contact from birth mum and birth grandmother. I’m afraid they are again unacceptable. Both of them have the senders address and telephone numbers on, they are full of things like, ‘I’ll find some way to see you soon’, ‘ We’ll together again one day…’ I don’t want my daughters to see these. I’m going to have to send them back to you.”

“That’s OK Crap Dad. Would you like us to check them in future to see if they are appropriate or not?”

“Yes please.”

“OK, we’ll do that. Send them back to me and I’ll put LML and Lolly’s files in the red folder.”

“Thank you. Bye”


Family Lexicon

9 11 2010

“Lolly! ‘nap! ‘nap!” says LML “‘nap ‘nap mummy”

GM looks round and sees that LML has found CD’c foot long wooden crocodile.

She brandishes it at her sister and mum ‘nap ‘napping.

“What is it?” asks GM

“Cockabite” comes the answer.

GM smilingly agrees that it is indeed a “crocodile”, whilst knowing that this creature will soon be known by another, quite charming name.


5 11 2010

Routine is everything in the Mostly Functional household, morning, noon and night.

CD & GM had had enough of 5am starts, so a month ago they bought and ‘day and night’ clock, which changes when it is morning.  It provides the girls with a very visual sign that it is morning.

At the end of three weeks the girls had started to wake closer to 5.30 in the morning most days and 6am maybe twice a week.


5.15 this morning was a vast improvement on the previous days, which have consistently been 4.something am.  For some reason LML has woken lively and unwilling to stay quietly in bed.  She shouts, kicks, objects and wakes everyone.

The mostly Functional parents hold onto the hope and belief that they will not always have to rise so early, nor battle at the beginning of their day .

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