Update #2 – Little Miss Loud (LML)

2 01 2014

GM thinks about how she thinks about LML, what she tells people. It’s very easy to tell the funny stories about the eggs in the garden centre, the streaking incident, Marmite hand prints … It’s not so easy for the mostly functional parents to talk about LML’s continuing daily assaults on her sister, and Lolly’s unsurprisingly aggressive response. There is no humour in LML’s reasonable resistance to her ADHD meds on school days. Friends don’t really want to hear about LML’s emerging understanding of her adopted status, and her sadness and longing for ‘the other mummy’.

GM realises that when she thinks about her daughter, she is often thinking about LML’s brain. About the missing and damaged neural pathways. She thinks about her tiny 2lb daughter laying alone in an incubator, having lost her twin, her mum and dad, her older brother who was already adopted. GM wept in a conference as Dr Rennes Marks described her daughters start in life and the impact that has had on her brain development.

All the excitement, all the bizarre or difficult or challenging behaviours, all the anxiety and meltdowns, all the sticky sloppy smearing, the hitting out and self harm … It is all made easier to cope with and manage due to the beautiful happy unselfconscious intrinsically joyful little girl that is LML. This child wakes up every day filled with joy and wonder. When CD or GM get home from work she shouts with love and excitement. She is excited by rainbows. She sings songs about how she is feeling when she is happy. GM has always felt that it is a great honour to have this amazing child in her life.

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One response

5 01 2014
izzwizz

She sings when she is happy, and shouts with love and excitement! Your love for her shines through this post… And I can feel myself falling for her too. Gorgeous writing 🙂

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