The land of no

26 07 2014

“No LML! Nonono”

GM translates for her daughter “LML, be careful with the walking stick. It must stay pointed at the ground love. Yes that’s right, well done.” In the first few hours of their visit the “no’s”  come thick and fast. The interpretation is exhausting, but very much needed.

Much as GM loves her in laws, visits are always difficult for LML. GM has to remind herself not to internalise her daughters stress and not to take offence at Nan’s lack of understanding.

Still, GM finds that she smarts a little when LML is told she can have no more ice cream, when Lolly is tucking onto her second bowl.

LML is lovely. She is loud. She cannot do as she is told”. She does not understand threats of consequences. When she is stressed she does not stop moving. And nan just does not get it.

GM and CD manage LML’s behaviors, anxiety and stress as best they can. They model the scaffolding and support they give her, to help LML cope and to show nan how to help their daughter do better. GM sighs. Nan just doesn’t seem to get it.

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2 responses

26 07 2014
Isobel

I imagine this is an ongoing problem with anyone who does not understand LML’s particular meeds. It must be stressful and upsetting for you and confusing for her.
Is there a video about how to reinforce the bahaviours you want that you can give your in-laws to watch? Something that might help them on the road to understanding their little grand-daughter?

17 09 2014
caseyalexanderblog

I agree with Isobel (actually, i need to do more of this); educating others with whom you interact frequently or have overnight stays is a really great idea. Written material is probably easiest to put hands on, but a works likely have greater impact. Check YouTube…people post videos about everything!

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