Super star

20 02 2014

LML asks for a packet of crisps and objects when she is told “no”.  The previous day LML was in hospital having 3 baby teeth and 2 grown up teeth extracted. All the work that needed doing was carried out under a general anaesthetic. 

The wait to go down to surgery was over 3 hours and LML only started to wobble with the restrictions of being on a hospital ward for the last 10 minutes. Once in surgery GM’s confidence in her daughter was proven as LML sailed through having the surgical cannula fitted. (GM did cry when the anaesthetic took effect and her beautiful lively girl became unconscious!)

When the anxious mostly functional parents were called into recovery LML was not yet conscious. Gm gently stroked her daughters hand and told her they were with her … To the utter surprise of the staff, LML immediately sat up, saw CD and shouted out his name with joy! She soon settled back down, but was as she always is on waking .. cheerful, chatty and lovely. None of the dire warnings of fighting, crying and general grumpiness were displayed. LML was a star.

Back on the ward to recover she continued to be chirpy and cooperated with everything that needed to be done. She had her drink, ate her jelly and wotsits (together!), stayed on her bed, had a little sleep and was great when woken from that to go home.

CD and GM could not be more proud of their superstar girl.



8 02 2014

GM runs from bed to bed, playing the doctor to the girls patients.  Lolly puts the bandage under her nose and days “doctor. I’m Grandma J”, “Oh, is this your cannula? Like grandma’s” GM asks. This confirmed, the game progresses, involving inhalers, the need to sit up, struggling to breath and a very good simulation of being confused. Indeed, Lolly acts out her and GM’s visit to the hospice that GM’s mum is currently in. GM plays along, feeling slightly uncomfortable, but suspecting that her discomfort is more her bag, and not to do with the play being ‘wrong’ in any way.

The play moves on, leaving GM feeling slightly confused herself!


7 02 2014

“Have we got any tiger bread mum?” asks LML.

GM is expecting the question, as it is the same every morning. “I don’t think so” she replies groggily, “I’ll see what dad got yesterday.” She holds up the remains of the french stick and LML nods and asks the next standard question.

“Can I have the end please mum?”

GM cuts a few inches off the end of the bread cuts it on half and slavers butter on it. She passes the plate to LML who asks what type of bread it is. “Its a French Stick” GM says.

“Hmmm, French Stick” repeats LML, tucking away another descriptor for a type of bread, to add to her ever growing list of important bread.


22 01 2014

The mostly functional parents took the girls to big city park on Sunday. They met with Aunty P, who was visiting GM’s elderly mum for the weekend.


LML and Lolly always enjoy the freedom of a wide open space, and with head to toe water proofs were able to indulge in plenty of hill rolling and free roaming.

The highlight was bumping into big and little cousins (with their dogs, much to LML’s delight!) and finishing the walk with 3 generations of the GM clan …


The need to know ..

11 01 2014

LML seems to have arrived at the asking stage of development. The Ed psych would probably say it is emerging. The mostly functional parents gladly answer the questions that keep on coming. They do wonder though, how ‘normal’ her questions are .. are her questions the same sort of questions that any child at her developmental stage would ask?

As LML and GM walk down the stairs, early in the morning, GM responds to the questions that are being asked. She explains who bought LML her quilt, her PJs, various teddies, her coat, her remote control racing car. The list goes on.  “Who bought Kitty Cat mummy?” She asks. GM smiles, always welcoming the opportunity to talk about how a member of the family ‘arrived’. “We didn’t buy Kitty Cat, he didn’t have a home or a family and needed somewhere safe, so we let him move into our house” she explains. “Who bought my slippers mummy?” The conversation moves on!

Update #2 – Little Miss Loud (LML)

2 01 2014

GM thinks about how she thinks about LML, what she tells people. It’s very easy to tell the funny stories about the eggs in the garden centre, the streaking incident, Marmite hand prints … It’s not so easy for the mostly functional parents to talk about LML’s continuing daily assaults on her sister, and Lolly’s unsurprisingly aggressive response. There is no humour in LML’s reasonable resistance to her ADHD meds on school days. Friends don’t really want to hear about LML’s emerging understanding of her adopted status, and her sadness and longing for ‘the other mummy’.

GM realises that when she thinks about her daughter, she is often thinking about LML’s brain. About the missing and damaged neural pathways. She thinks about her tiny 2lb daughter laying alone in an incubator, having lost her twin, her mum and dad, her older brother who was already adopted. GM wept in a conference as Dr Rennes Marks described her daughters start in life and the impact that has had on her brain development.

All the excitement, all the bizarre or difficult or challenging behaviours, all the anxiety and meltdowns, all the sticky sloppy smearing, the hitting out and self harm … It is all made easier to cope with and manage due to the beautiful happy unselfconscious intrinsically joyful little girl that is LML. This child wakes up every day filled with joy and wonder. When CD or GM get home from work she shouts with love and excitement. She is excited by rainbows. She sings songs about how she is feeling when she is happy. GM has always felt that it is a great honour to have this amazing child in her life.


28 12 2013

Everyone is tired, LML lies on the sofa, wrapped up in GM’s new fleece, Lolly quietly plays with Christmas toys. The mostly functional parents are both slightly glassy eyed. It feels like the ‘worst’ might be over though, for now. Christmas is done, the three days of visiting, hours spent in the car and a totally wired LML.

A long walk, including a spontaneous meet up with the boys, and it’s been a much calmer evening.

Plenty of walks planned for the coming week!

My Daddy, My Daddy!

15 10 2012

Crap Dad arrives home and rings the door bell.

LML appears in the halfway and begins chanting, “My Daddy!  My Daddy!” over and over as she runs up and down the hall.

This continues for almost 10 minutes,  “My daddy!  My daddy!” as she runs through the house, in and out of rooms,  up and down the stairs.

Eventually the chanting stops, GM smiles at Crap Dad and says,  “That’s some hello.”

“Knock knock” …

8 10 2012

Says LML.

“Who’s there?” Asks Crap Dad.

“Who cares?” Is the rapid response, as the budding comedian runs off.

The Meds

4 10 2012

Day 1
LML ‘lights up’ 45 minutes after taking the medication. She maniacally colours sheet after sheet, after sheet of a colouring book for the next 4 hours. The mostly functional parents look on in astonishment. At various points Lolly tries to distract her, to engage her in the normal chaos. “Doin’  busy work Lolly, leave me alone” she insists.

“I hope it’s not going to be like this all the time” says Grumpy Mum concerned about the disturbing change they are witnessing.

Day 3 (first day at school)
TA to Crap Dad,  “That was an interesting day, she’s certainly been different today. A little quieter and a little more focussed.”

Day 7
Bring-bring, Bring-bring, Bring-bring
“Hello” says Crap Dad hesitantly, not recognising the number.

“Hi Crap Dad, it’s LML’s TA from school. It’s nothing to worry about, its just I’m a bit concerned about LML’s behaviour this morning. We’ve had such a good week but today she has just reverted back to some of her more challenging behaviour. She’s been banging her head against the doors and floors, hitting out, screaming and spitting, burping in peoples faces… Erm… Did she have her medication today?”

“Yes, she had it just before she left for school. You know, the medication doesn’t modify her behaviour, it just helps her to focus on an activity for a little longer. Call me back if things don’t improve.”

“OK” says the TA, “Thank you.”

Day 11
The TA comes out of school to hand LML over to GM, “She’s had a good day” she says, “We have noticed though that her being more focussed means that she is less spontaneous, more considered with her actions. This has been particularly difficult when she does a runner. She’s really waiting for her moment and when she goes, she really goes, she has thought about her escape route and she’s off. We really are having to watch her really closely.”

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