ADHD

GM arrives at the clinic with LML, who clearly remembers the environment from their previous visit. LML immediately heads for the water cooler. The waste tray is overflowing which surprises and fascinates LML. GM manages to distract her from the cooler for 5 minutes, until LML decides she wants to go to the toilet. GM shows LML to the toilet at which point she starts to shout like she is being slaughtered, so they return to the waiting room.

By this point GM has realised that she, indeed needs to pee. LML wants “to go wee” again so GM again takes her to the disabled toilet.  This time, when she opens the door she maneuvers LML into the very spacious room. LML is shouting that she does not need to wee … actually she is shouting “NO! Nononononnooo!” GM explains that LML does not need to do anything, but “mummy needs a wee”. LML continues with her “no’s” and GM has to pee at the same time as preventing her daughter leaving the room while she is “doing the business”.

Soon after, they are called from the waiting room.  They follow the nurse and psychologist to the (toyless) room. The marvelous nurse says “shall we find some toys?” to LML. She spends most of the rest of the session playing, throughout the whole of the CAMHS unit, with LML – whilst also managing to get her height and weight (BIG brownie points to Nurse Sula!).

GM and the psychologist discuss LML’s medical history and the immediate prospect of a prescription for stimulant medication.  When LML pops into the room, the psych attempts a blood pressure reading, which is not successful, even on GM’s knee. On the next passing GM is ready and gathers LML onto her knee, holds her close (gently restraining her), and whispers to her, telling her what is happening, how long it will last, that she is OK and loved and it is OK .. there will be a squeeze, it’s OK, she is safe, its OK .. through this LML is tense but trusting. She is tense but holds her sooo tense body close to GM’s; she plants a hard kiss on GM’s cheek, then again and again. She moves her mothers head so that she can kiss her mouth. She squeezes her mums face and all the time GM reassures LML that “it is OK, I love you, you are safe” .. and then it is over and LML is off again.

The details of the month trial of ADHD medication is agreed, and the psychologist asks GM how she is feeling about it.  GM manages to express some of her reservations and concerns (again), and talk about possible side effects.

LML is reshod and encouraged to tidy some of the toys that she has scattered throughout the room and building. The psychologist leaves to make out the prescription as GM, LML and nurse Sula go back to the waiting room. The psych comes back and hands the prescription to GM. Mother and daughter leave, call into the supermarket on the way home for bread and wine, and go home.

Aunty J has cooked dinner for the girls (she took Lolly to the playground from school, which involves another story).  10 minutes after she arrives home LML is sitting down to eat.  Aunty J goes into the kitchen to get the girls a drink and finds GM sitting on a child’s chair crying into a tea towel.  She strokes and pats her head as she sorts out the drinks and kisses her as she leaves the room.  GM is very grateful.

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Question and answers

Grumpy Mum, “What would you like for dinner Lolly?”

“Pudding”

“You can’t have pudding for dinner.” replies GM.

“Cake?”

“No”

“Ice cream?”

“No”

“Buns?”

“No”

“Yoghurt?”

“No”

“Sweets?”

“No,  you can’t just have deserts for dinner.  How about some baked beans instead?”

“Yes please” replies  Lolly eagerly.

Groundrules

LML marches around the house repeatedly chanting a new mantra, “I’m in charge! I’m in charge!”

Crap Dad and Grumpy Mum look at each other, “Nothing new there then” comments Crap Dad

Disgraced

Crap Dad usually spends a Friday with Lolly. Their routine is pretty relaxed and the rub along just fine. This week LML, who has been ailing all week finally succumbed to her virus and had been sent home from school on Thursday, so was also at home with Crap Dad and Lolly.

The morning had passed without incident and though LML was clearly under the weather her illness didn’t seem to slow her down. After a nap and some lunch Crap Dad decided that a whole day inside would drive them all stir crazy. The weather outside was cold and wet so they went to a local play centre.

Once there, coats and shoes off, both kids ran excitedly into the labyrinth of climbs, slides, walkways and crawl spaces. After a few minutes they are back encouraging Crap Dad to join them. He chases them around inside the play pen, they are quick and the centre is built for people a third if his size. He often loses sight if them. As he’s struggling to climb up through a series of twists and turns he hears a child start to cry. He hears a mother say, “Well if someone has hit you just hit them back”

A few minutes later he notices another small child crying and then another. He finds himself near an entrance where there is a mum comforting a child. She says to him that there is a child in the play pen going around hitting the other kids. He says he hasn’t seen anything. The mum goes off with the child to look for the culprit. Crap Dad has his suspicions, both LML and Lolly have been in the vicinity. He finds the kids and suggests they go and get a drink and some crisps. Over the snack he asks if either of them had been hitting the other kids. They both deny any involvement.

They eat most of their crisps, have a few gulps of juice, and are off again with a gentle reminder from Crap Dad to play nicely.

Crap Dad intends to follow but before he does a woman his walking towards his table, she has a child of about 18 months / two years in her arms. Both the woman and the child are crying. She is dragging LML to the table by her wrist. “I’ve just seen your child really hitting mine, over and over across the face. Really going for it. It was terrible” she says.

“LML!” Exclaims Crap Dad “You need to say sorry to the little girl and to her mummy. You know it’s not acceptable to hit, to hurt other people.”

LML stands there blank faced. Crap Dad tries again to elicit an apology, nothing. He apologies for LML’s behavior, A woman at the next table says “She hit my kid too”.

Crap Dad informs LML that because she’s hurt the other kids she’s going to have to stay with him for the rest of the visit to the centre. He sits LML on his knee and talks to her about hitting out at other kids and how it makes everyone sad.

Whilst he’s doing this he notices the woman he’d seen in the play area earlier walking towards him. She has a crying child in one arm and is pulling Lolly along behind her. She’s clearly is very angry. “Your child has just hit mine again!” She spits. “I’m really sorry” states Crap Dad. “Lolly, you need to say sorry to the woman and her boy” he insists. Lolly says a sheepish “Sorry”. Crap Dad apologizes again. The woman, who is furious says, “You ought to keep your bloody kids under control” and leaves.

He sits both kids on chairs and kneels down in front of them. “I’m really angry and disappointed with both of you” he says “It’s not acceptable to hit the other kids. It’s wrong. If you can’t play properly here then we are going to have to leave. At the moment I’m so angry with you I don’t know if I want to bring you back here again.”

Crap Dad puts their shoes and coats on and they leave. As he signs out he realizes they have been there for only thirty minutes.