Bliss

29 10 2011

“Mummy” says LML,

“I” she points to her chest,

“Love” she spreads her hands over her chest,

“You” she points to GM and ends with a dazzling smile.

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3.15pm to 5.15pm

24 06 2011

“I can cope with talking to her teacher about her attacking another child repeatedly, whilst they tried to stop her…”

“I can cope with  her throwing herself around on the floor of the bus, shrieking, with everyone looking at us…”

“I can cope with her pouring the water out of the jug over the window and floor as soon as we got home…”

“I can cope with her constant shouting and shrieking…”

“I can cope with her attacks on Lolly…”

“but I am fucked off that we can be having such a lovely positive time, and she takes a tiny opportunity to cover the living room in soy sauce.”





New hair day

17 06 2011

GM arrives home, and before the door is half open LML is shouting “WOW Mummy. Mummy home!” at the top of her lungs.  She launches herself down the hall into her mothers arms, “wow mummy, wow. Snip snip hair”.  She quickly strokes her mums face and hair, provides a kiss full of passion and races back into the living room.

GM sighs a deeply content sigh as she gives the waiting Lolly a cuddle and kiss.

 





Sick Note.

19 12 2010

Spotty, snotty, smelly. LML and Lolly have been ill for the past two weeks.

If there was a market for snot then the mostly functional parents could have made a fortune.

The sleepless nights are now starting to take their toll. Dispositions are becoming frayed and fractious – and that’s just Grumpy Mum and Crap Dad.





Letter Box Contact

11 11 2010

Bring, bring…. bring bring

“Hello, letter box service”

“Hi, it’s Crap Dad, LML and Lolly’s dad. We’ve just received our letter box contact from birth mum and birth grandmother. I’m afraid they are again unacceptable. Both of them have the senders address and telephone numbers on, they are full of things like, ‘I’ll find some way to see you soon’, ‘ We’ll together again one day…’ I don’t want my daughters to see these. I’m going to have to send them back to you.”

“That’s OK Crap Dad. Would you like us to check them in future to see if they are appropriate or not?”

“Yes please.”

“OK, we’ll do that. Send them back to me and I’ll put LML and Lolly’s files in the red folder.”

“Thank you. Bye”

Brrrrr.





Theraputic Parenting …

14 06 2010

How NOT to do it

The carrier bag with LML’s favorite soft toy, the very dirty, very wet Kitty-cow, flies through the window and lands in the garden.

“The bloody cat can stay in the bloody garden” shouts GM.

“Where cat? Where cat?” asks LML over and over again.

GM rants that the cat is in the garden because LML “WILL NOT DO AS SHE IS TOLD!” “And it can bloody well stay there.”

………………………….

10 minutes later, when GM and LML have had a cuddle and things have calmed a little, they go up stairs, fill a basket of washing and retrieve the mucky toy from the garden. They load the washing machine together, and place the dirty cat inside.

“Kitty-cow dirty” states LML.

“Yes love, Kitty-cow dirty”





comeuppance

13 06 2010

Lolly is standing looking at a book as LML rapidly approaches from behind. LML grabs Lolly’s face just as CD notices what is happening.  He cries out “LML, don’t do that!” Too late.

Lolly remains standing and there is a moment of silence. Then LML’s face begins to distort. She pulls away from Lolly.

“Lolly bite!” She screams through swelling tears. “Lolly bite!” becoming increasingly distraught, “Lolly bite!” she keeps repeating through flooding tears. “Lolly bite!”

CD tries to comfort her. He makes a big display of telling Lolly “No biting” Lolly looks at him blankly, there is even a hint of a smile on her face. He makes a concious decision not to rise to the bait.

“Lolly bite!” LML continues to scream and wail through her copious tears.

GM joins the scene and takes the distressed LML into her arms. “Lolly bite!” she stammers through the tears. She shows the damaged finger end to GM, there are clear teeth marks, the skin slightly broken.  She continues to wail and sob intermittently for a few more minutes.

The mostly functional parents exchange a glance and smile over the top of the distraught child’s head, acknowledging the role reversal. GM considers using it as a learning opportunity, pointing out to LML that this is how Lolly must feel after LML’s regular physical attacks, but decides that the older daughter is too distressed to take in the learning and will wait for the opportunity later.








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