Regroup! Regroup!

30 12 2011

The Mostly Functional Parents had both been looking forward to a whole week with no work, no school and no nursery.  By the end of the week they are on their knees with exhaustion, frustration and disappointment.

They are pretty much in agreement that they ‘got it wrong’ – the week has been too unstructured and unplanned, too spontaneous, too wet and cold and just too too much for them all.

So, the next holidays the parents will remember a few rules

  • it’s ok to divide and rule
  • the weekly planner that is created for Little Miss Loud during term time will continue during the vacations – for every week
  • activities will be planned in advance – even vague ones like ‘an outing’
  • distance makes the heart grow fonder … time off nursery and play scheme do not need to coincide – indeed, it should be very well planned and executed if it happens at all when not actually ‘on a holiday’
  • going to bed earlier and drinking a bit less might not be what the beleaguered parents want to do, but it’s probably for the best.

So, the Mostly Functional Parents need to put away spontaneity and impulse for now and really really knuckle down to predictability, planning and routine.



Crazy golfers

30 05 2011

The Mostly Functional parents are at the seaside for a few days with the girls. After an enjoyable afternoon on the beach they decide not to stretch their luck too far before LML and Lolly’s good spirits break. On the way back to their apartment they agree that a game of crazy golf might entertain the troublesome twosome.

The attendant informs them that they are the last group of the day. Indeed there it’s only another quartet on the course.

The mostly functional parents demonstrate the idea of the game to LML & Lolly. The first hole goes ok with Lolly needing some assistance and LML insisting that she needs non.

At the tee for hole two LML was already showing signs that she’d had enough. Before Grumpy Mum could tee off with Lolly LML was already racing across the course. She was soon followed by her ever willing accomplice. Within moments there was peels of laughter as they clambered over the obstacles, peered down holes and chased each other about. At one point LML hung off the side of a lighthouse  waving her arm and growling in the manner of King Kong.

They then played a game of one of them rolling a golf ball through one of the obstacles whilst the other lay facing the exit, mouth open trying to catch the ball.

Not a traditional game at all but hey they were happy. Crazy indeed.

Life in a box – day 3

10 06 2010

The pool is cool. The girls love it, but LML is just a slip of a thing so swimming is cut short. Her teeth are chattering until she is fully clothed and running again. The girls have hot chocolate and a snack to get fully warm. Whilst CD and GM discuss what to do next, Lolly makes her escape. CD searches for her and finally he finds her being herded back into the building by a young boy – he had seen her going out side and had followed her. When they leave the swimming complex their table is awash with hot chocolate and quavers.

The family get back to the caravan and the girls are just too tired to eat their lunch. They sleep for an hour and a half, and only wake up at CD’s gentle suggestion. The playground is dry enough to play in at last, so they do, and then it’s on to the ‘funworks’ for another mad half hour of lights and music.

After tea GM puts LML and Lolly in their pretty dresses to go to the pub. LML twirls around in her new dress for her daddy, and Lolly copies her. The mostly functional parents are better prepared for their ‘night out’ this time, and are armed not only with snacks, but also sticker books, paper and pencils and an agreement that ice-cream can be used ruthlessly if necessary. Their pints are not quite finished when LML falls over and howls. Its time to leave.

Life in a box – Day 2

9 06 2010

Scene one

“My home?” says LML as they walk through the site. “My home?”

“That’s not our caravan, baby. Our caravan is over there”

“My home?”

“Not that one either.”

“My home?”

“We are near, but that’s still not our ‘van”

“My home! My blanket!” cries LML as they turn a corner and she sees the caravan loom into view.

Scene two

Lolly launches herself though two soft play rollers, which look like a giant mangle, she lands head first and looks to GM shrieking with delight. She does this over and over again and each time her face beams.

Scene three

The tide is coming in. LML stands on the edge of sea delighted as the waves splash around her wellies. She picks up some seaweed and throws it into the encroaching waves, her laughter mingles with the gently breaking waves. GM and CD look at each other and exchange a look of parental pride and joy.

Scene four

CD is at the bar getting snacks for the girls. GM is ‘containing’ them at a table and takes the great escapist LML onto her lap. LML begins to shriek and shout as loudly as she can.

“LML” says GM, to gain her attention, “look” she says and signs, moving LML’s focus from family to family that surround them “do you hear any other child making this noise?”

LML looks around, and then back at GM. She shakes her head and giggles.

Life in a box – Day One

8 06 2010

The great storm was making visibility limited and driving very slow and careful, it wasn’t the best of starts. LML and Lolly started out in good moods but as the journey progressed their geniality started to wane. CD tried to keep them entertained with a range of action songs. The girls joined in and demand half a dozen renditions of ‘Wind the bobbin’ up’.

The mostly functional family arrive at the caravan site and find their box. The kids love it. Running up and down the limited space, opening every cupboard and door. LML claims her bed almost instantly, ‘my bed’ she states, ‘my bed’ as she plonks her beloved meow onto it.

The mostly functional parents quickly unpack and store stuff away. The kids are fed and soon start to become restless. GM and CD decide to go for a walk, even though it is already past the tykes bedtime. They stroll to the cliff edge and watch people far below, walking their dogs on the beach. On the way back to the box they check out the amenities on the site. LML runs into ‘the fun works’ rapidly followed by GM. She is quite overcome by the flashing lights, the games, the music; happy and excited and not wanting to leave, but noticeably relaxing once GM manages to get her out!

They return to the box and start to settle down for the evening. The kids run around excitedly.

CD puts a plug in the bottom of the shower and runs a shallow bath. LML and Lolly watch with keen interest, pushing CD out of the way. They eagerly get undressed, wanting to try this new experience, of bathing in a tiny confined space in only a few inches water. Squashed into the shower tray together they excitedly splash about, Lolly becoming rather giddy and reluctant to leave.

Normally, after some milk and a rice cake or crackers the girls are falling asleep, not tonight. They wriggle, giggle and jiggle. Eventually GM takes them to bed and sits with them until they fall asleep – it’s after 9pm when she emerges from the little room. It’s been a long day (the girls having been up as usual at 5.30am) and the mostly functional parents soon collapse on the settee, open a bottle of wine and begin to relax.

Ahhhhh …

29 04 2010

The mostly functional family have had their first ‘holiday’ with both of the girls.  It was short and very very sweet.

It had been organised by one of the lovely aunties, and was very much a ‘family affair’, arranged for 80+ year old Grandad P.  At the beginning of the week various grown up grandchildren joined him and a couple of lovely aunties at a great big cottage that had been rented in the ‘country’, and on wednesday another lovely aunty and the mostly functional family joined them (the other big grandkids having gone by then!).

Grandad left the day the mostly functionals arrived after having a lovely family walk, as he had his country dancing to go to that night. The girls spent two days walking and feeding the chickens attached to the cottage and having three aunties, one uncle and two parents see to their every play, food, comfort and miscellaneous need.  They had a lovely time.

On the last day the mostly functional parents were treated to a walk in the country, together .. on their own .. with NO kids

aahhhhh …

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