Coco baa, baa

3 11 2011

Crap Dad and Lolly pass the time away singing nursery rhymes as they walk to nursery.

“What shall be sing next Lolly?” asks Crap Dad.

“Coco baa, baa” quickly responds

“What?”

“Coco baa, baa.”

Crap Dad sings the words in his head but still can’t get it.

“Sorry, I don’t think I know that one. You sing it for me.”

“Coco baa, baa,

Coco baa, baa” Lolly sings repeatedly.

“Aaaah, London’s Burning!” exclaims Crap Dad .





Changing of the Guard

6 07 2011

You’ll be seeing a different doctor today, the old one has moved on to pastures new” the administrator informs the Mostly Functional parents as they begin the routine that is the six monthly child development appointment.

The new doctor seems friendly enough, she soon starts to examine Lolly. She questions the Mostly Functional parents about Lolly’s health and behaviour. “I think she needs additional support. I’ll contact the nursery SENCO to make a referral for early years funding.”

The kids are bouncing around the consultation room, in to everything. GM and CD spend a lot of time stopping them from playing with the medical equipment that is all over the room, the sink, the giant paper rolls, the surgical gloves, the curtain. They tag team it, without any need for discussion or agreement.

It’s soon LML’s turn. After a number of routine questions the paediatrician focusses in on LML’s behaviour. “Is she always like this?” she enquires as LML flits from one prohibited activity to another.

I would like to refer her to the Child & Adolecent Mental Health Service (CAMHS), it’s difficult because many of the behaviours for Attachment Disorder are also seen in ADHD. I think we should assess her for ADHD, medication may help slow her down and focus more, making it easier for her to access education.”

Grumpy Mum is quick to say, “When we adopted LML we knew her behaviour might be challenging, we accepted that that’s who she is. I’m not sure either of us would want to manage her behaviour with drugs.”

The parents accept that this is a route in to CAHMS though; something they have been talking about how to achieve for some time. The Mostly Functional parents agree to complete a Connor’s Parent Rating Scale. Not convinced that the paediatrician, after less than an hours consultation, has made a correct ‘diagnosis’, they still see the benefits of the route she is proposing as it’s likely to open up new opportunities for support for the family and LML.





New hair day

17 06 2011

GM arrives home, and before the door is half open LML is shouting “WOW Mummy. Mummy home!” at the top of her lungs.  She launches herself down the hall into her mothers arms, “wow mummy, wow. Snip snip hair”.  She quickly strokes her mums face and hair, provides a kiss full of passion and races back into the living room.

GM sighs a deeply content sigh as she gives the waiting Lolly a cuddle and kiss.

 





play time

8 06 2011

LML comes into the mostly functional parents bedroom at 7am, followed by Lolly.  She has one of their bags over her shoulder.

“Me going shopping,” she announces,  “bye bye, shopping now” she says as she leaves the room waving, with Lolly following behind her, also waving.

Sometimes it’s those simple things that give so much hope.





where bee be?

16 05 2011

“Where bee be? Daddy, where bee?  Bee be poorly mummy?” The stream of questions from LML begin as soon as he family walk onto main road.  The previous day they had seen a big bubble bee sitting on the pavement, and the parents had told LML that it might be resting or poorly.

As the family approach the spot from the day before they see the same bee …

“Bee poorly?  Bee be dead?” LML asks, “Lolly, bee be dead. Bee poorly!”

“Bee poorly!”repeats Lolly, looking at her sister, “bee dead?”

“Bee be dead, Lolly.  Bee poorly.” Confirms LML.

As the family leave the dead creature behind LML asks “Where bee be?”

“Bee poorly, bee dead” answers Lolly knowledgeably.





The Big Blue

10 01 2011

The big blue package sparked interest

“My bed?” enquired LML.

“Well no, it’s Lolly’s new bed” replied Crap Dad

“My bed!” states LML

“No, it’s the mattress to Lolly’s bed”

Later

“Would you girls like to help mummy and daddy make Lolly’s new bed?” enquired Cap Dad.

The two girls jumped up. “Yes, yes, yes” they shouted excitedly. They pushed and bumped each other as they scrambled up the stairs. Lolly jumped up and down, waved her arms in the air, spun around and yelped with joy as she saw the mattress wrapped blue plastic.

“We’ll need to take down the cot first”

The girls run around and ‘help’ with unscrewing and dismantling the cot.

As Crap Dad and Grumpy Mum assemble the frame of the new bed Lolly tries several times to clamber on. “No, Lolly, it’s not ready yet. It’s not safe, wait.” Crap dad and Grumpy Mum repeatedly say.

It’s not long before the bed is up and the mattress is being unsheathed from it’s plastic rapper. As soon as the mattress is on the bed Lolly and LML are jumping up and down on it.

“Let mummy and daddy put the bedding on.” pleads Grumpy Mum.

“Lolly’s bed, Lolly’s bed” pants LML as she jumps up and down.

Eventually the mostly functional parents persuade the excitable kids off the bed and put a sheet and quilt on.

“Wow, look Lolly, your big girls bed” exclaims GM

Lolly clambers into the bed. “Night, Night” she says as she snuggles down.

The mostly functional parents and LML laugh. “It’s not bedtime yet darling, you need to have a bath.” Lolly takes some coaxing out from under the covers.





Jingle bells, jingle bells…

26 12 2010

“Daddy look!” says LML as she spots the stockings placed by their grandparents by the fireplace.

“Look Daddy!”

“They look interesting, what do you think they are?”

“Ho, ho, Ho!”

“You think Santa has left them?”

“Yes” say both the girls, Lolly nodding her head vigorously.

“Do you want to have a look?”

“Yeeees!”

They delve in the stockings, Pulling out torches, bags of chocolate coins, masks… It’s not long before a range of small objects have been explored, played with and explored again.

After a few minutes LML comes up to Crap Dad and kisses him on the cheek and says, “Thank you Daddy”.

Crap Dad says, “You need to thank Nan and Granddad when they get up. Though that’ll be a few hours yet, as it’s still the middle of the night.”

 





Joyfull and triumphant

24 12 2010

“Mummy, there.” says LML as she points to the cooling towers in the distance with their white / grey steam drifting in the wind.

“Yeah, they’re cloud makers.”

Later.

As bath time finishes and LML and Lolly are dried Grumpy Mum says, “It’s traditional to have new PJ’s on christmas eve.” and reveals new pairs of christmassy pyjamas that have been warming on the radiator.

“Wow, we!” exclaimed LML

 





Oh come all ye faithfull

24 12 2010

The mostly functional parents sat having a drink with Crap Dad’s parents at the end of a long day

It had started early, as usual. Grumpy Mum had spent the previous evening packing so they were organised and proceeded through the morning routine without much of a hitch.

The taxi to the train station arrived a few minutes late but they had plenty of time. As they were almost at the station Crap Dad realised that he hadn’t picked up the train tickets. “Turn the taxi around please, we need to go back” said Crap Dad laughing at his stupidity. The taxi driver laughed “Two things you can’t leave without,” he says “the tickets and the kids.”

Despite travelling during their morning nap time both LML and Lolly are on their best behaviour. Which isn’t to say that they are the best behaved kids travelling on the busy train, just that for them they were reasonably well behaved.

Crap Dad’s parents meet them at the station. LML shouts out ‘Nanny’, ‘Granddad’ runs towards them and gives them big hugs. Lolly follows behind arms stretched out, beaming her big smile.

The mostly functional parents exchange a look and smile.

LML asks instantly, “Where Pippa?” Pippa is Nan and Granddad’s dog. It is a refrain they will hear repeatedly over the next half hour as the travel to the grandparents home.

For the rest of the afternoon “Pippa” is just about the most exciting thing in the world. Chased, stroked, patted. The dog is in constant demand. Both kids are beside themselves when the dog licks them or comes to sits beside them.

After the kids have gone to bed, LML asking to go to bed early, hardly touching her snack or milk, the dog collapses in a heap exhausted from an afternoon with Lolly and LML. The mostly functional parents know how she feels.





Sick Note.

19 12 2010

Spotty, snotty, smelly. LML and Lolly have been ill for the past two weeks.

If there was a market for snot then the mostly functional parents could have made a fortune.

The sleepless nights are now starting to take their toll. Dispositions are becoming frayed and fractious – and that’s just Grumpy Mum and Crap Dad.








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